Sales Laundry

I could always understand it, even if I did not like it, when I heard a solid “no” after the customer had a complete grasp of the problem and solution being proposed, but the ones that always intrigued me were the “no’s” that came before the prospect had any idea what I was talking about or why I even bothered to visit or call.

It just seems to play out like an old Star Trek episode or something.

—

“Sir, our sensors are picking up an incoming sales call!  My sensors indicate that a Sales-Klingon has entered our sector traveling at ½ repulsive power.”

“Shields up!  Arm the surly torpedoes.  Turn those smiles upside down, people.  Brace for impact.”

“Sir, the Sales-Klingon is hailing us.  He is asking to speak to the Captain.”

“General quarters!  Engage stealth mode.  Hide in your offices.  Sue, duck behind that coffee pot!  Wendy, get behind the Fichus tree!”

“Sir, he has established orbit around our lobby.”

“I was afraid of this.  Reception, fire frowns at will!  Get grumpy!”

“Sir, he says he has time to wait for you to get out of your ‘meeting’.  Do you want me to open hailing frequencies?”

“Launch Grouchy Dave in Purchasing to the Lobby, he will handle this situation!”

“Sir, Grouchy Dave reported to Sick Bay yesterday and is out today.”

“Fire all Surly Torpedoes.”

“Sir!  They are bouncing off the Sales-Klingons forehead and he is still smiling!”

“Time to go nuclear, people.  Fire the ‘Not Interested’ Nuke!”

“But sir that could do just as much damage to us!  He might be selling something we really need that could give us a significant cost savings or competitive advantage!”

“No time for that, I have to figure out ways we can save money and get an edge on our competition!  He COULD be selling office machines, or even worse, magazines!  FIRE!”

“Yes sir.  Those magazines are always a rip off!  Firing ‘Not Interested’ Nuke.  Sales-Klingon threat neutralized.  Conditions normal.”

“Good work, people.  Now back to work!  Find ways to cut costs.  X Romulan Company is selling cheaper than we can and attacking us on every front!”

“Sir.  Wendy, behind the Fichus tree over there used to work for X Romulan.  She said they saved a lot of money and really cut their costs after buying something from that Sales-Klingon you just nuked!”

“Alert!  A rental car just pulled into the parking lot!  It could be another Sales-Klingon!  Accounting!  Keep looking for ways to cut our costs.”

Accounting: “We’ve given ya all she’s got, Captain!  We are refilling ink jet cartridges as we speak, but they just keep leaking!”

“Shields up!  Arm torpedoes.”

“Be ready people, we may have to go nuclear.  Our very survival could be at stake.”

—

We only have ourselves to blame, the crusty Sales-Klingons that came before us, and those that still reside in our sales offices, for those reactions.

If the only sales professionals that ever showed up were ones with good solutions, never wasted their time or were less than honest and ethical, sale people would probably get a different greeting, but that is not going to happen on this planet, Federation or no Federation.

If you hear “Not Interested” before you get much past your name, here is what that “Not Interested” might really mean.

“This is a scam.  I am not sure how it is a scam and I do not have time to stop and figure it out.  Not Interested.”

“I don’t understand and I don’t want to give you the time it would take to listen and understand.  Not Interested.”

“I am too busy to want to listen to you.  Not Interested.”

“What I am doing right now is far more important than anything you could possibly say.  Not Interested.”

“You don’t sound like you know what you are talking about.  Not Interested.”

“Things are not that bad with what I have.  I know I can deal with the current problems, what you are talking about is change and that brings with it a whole new set of unknowns that I am not prepared to deal with right now.  Not interested.”

Listen to their tone and the words they are thinking or watch their mannerisms to learn what they are really saying.

Once you know why your prospects are shutting you down you have completed the first step in limiting how often it happens to you in the future.

Change your approach to disengage the “not interested” nuke before it is ever fired.  Ask a question that makes them think, or present what you do in a short, concise and compelling way that makes them want to engage you instead of send you packing for deep space.

Fine tune your message with practice in the field and track your success and failures.  No, really, track the responses.  From my experience, there will be plenty of both until you finally get everything dialed in, but the results can be very rewarding.