Sales Laundry

Networking.

Historically just saying that word out loud has made me think of smarmy business card exchange exercises with people that have a paper-thin layer of genuine friendliness masking unfathomable depths of desperation and a near unstoppable urge to smack you over the head with their latest product pitch just because you happened to be standing suspiciously out in the open, unprotected, and dared to make eye contact with them at a business after hours event.

Just typing that makes me want to go wash my hands.  Yuck.

Why then do we even entertain the idea of slapping a plastic grin on our faces and moving about uncomfortably stuffing our pockets with random business cards?

We do it because we have been told that “networking” is important to our careers.

Which it absolutely is.

Unfortunately, who ever tossed out that bit of sage advice failed to leave proper instructions on how to “network” properly.  Thus the “biological business card dispenser” model was born, and the mere thought of attending a networking event is met by most with the same level of disdain reserved for the drill at the dentists’ office.

We have been bamboozled, my friends.  That is  not “networking.”  That is just a more polite form of Rockum Sockum Robots I like to call “notworking.”

The right way to network

So how can anyone build a solid network of people to help their business without feeling like they have been collecting business cards while wading chest deep in a pool of snail slime?

Networking for me got a whole lot less “slimy” when I stopped thinking about “me” and about the important stuff I had to say and started listening to the person I was talking to, and thinking how I could help them solve their problem/be more successful.

With the simple change in mindset of looking to help someone else first, dozens of new opportunities to genuinely connect with people began to present themselves.

As you listen to someone talk you will discover some of the things that are really important in their lives and you will find some new paths to connect with them outside of tradeshows and seminars where you can form a relationship that can help you move right past the gate keeper when it is time to talk business.

Here are a few ideas to get the wheels turning:

Start with the small stuff

Everyone in the room has something in common.  They are people.  (Godzilla and Bigfoot do not typically attend these things.)  They are people that have, more or less, the same problems and daily challenges you face.  Start with the small stuff, share something personal, and let the conversation unfold.

Listen for all of the opportunities to help, not just the ones your company’s product or service can fix. Is their child having a hard time in school or looking for an entry level job?  Offer to connect them with someone in your network that can help.  Are they relocating?  Buying a car?  Need a new cell phone?  Need some contacts to get their business going?  Planning an anniversary?  Need help pulling off a customer appreciation event?  There are opportunities to connect at some level in all of the “stuff” we fill our lives with.

Figure out who you want to network with in advance. Do your best to figure out who you want to meet at an event and position yourself to make that acquaintance instead of randomly trolling about the room.  Research them online so you can pick up some of their specific interests and have something relevant to say.

Prepare a small secondary event. For the handful of people you meet at an event that you would really like to get to know better, invite them all to join you for dinner/drinks after the event to continue the conversation.

“Networking” does not have to be a negative experience that leaves you feeling like you just ate a four pound bag of French fries.  It can be a very rewarding experience to know that someone is better off in some small way because of your selfless actions.  I would sum it up this way:

“Listen and give and you will get more than you gave.”

There are some fantastic thought leaders on the topic of networking I urge you to explore.

Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone and current NY Times best seller Who’s Got Your Back is a great resource.  You can also tap into the Never Eat Alone LinkedIn group, of which I am a member, as well.

Andy Lopata, which someone in my network pointed out to me, also known as “Mr. Network” in the UK and author of two books on the subject of networking, Building a Business on Bacon and Eggs and …and Death Came Third! You can catch more good stuff from Andy’s blog Connecting is Not Enough.

Image courtesy of http://www.marriedtothesea.com